Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Man about the House

Rhonda from Down to Earth did a lovely post this morning about her husband and I've been sitting here holding a child who is getting sick, thinking about my husband.

He and I are not 100% compatible I have to say, we disagree on a lot of things. And unlike Rhonda and Hanno, we don't pick up where the other left off, things I'm bad at, so is he etc. Of course we both have a few things that are 'our own'. But regardless of all that, we get along very well, we were good friends for quite a few years before entering into a relationship (we met at school).

Right now while building our house I've realised how incredibly lucky I am to have the husband I have. He goes off to work in the morning, works on our house in the afternoon and finishes his office work at night. On the weekends he spends sun up to sun down working on our house. Over the last 6 months I'd estimate he has had a total of 4 days off. Over the last 2 years he has done labour for other men with trade skills so we can do labour swap, has collected material, like old hard wood rafters which he then de-nailed and cut to size, has collected bricks from building sites, plus heaps more. He has built racks and storage units to store all the second hand material in. Only now the job is far underway I've realised how much money he has saved us. (Also how much pride it gives me to know we have re-used material instead of buying it all new).

Of course I knew he was a good man before this. I have a condition which means when I'm pregnant I get sick, and I mean sick. For the first 16 wks of each pregnancy I can be sick up to 30 times I day. I was taken care of so well during this time, even to the point of him holding my hair out of the way. (not something I can do for another adult thats for sure, with my weak stomach).

I would love to be in a world where all women have a good caring man to be with, and visa versa. It would be nice to see marriages where a hardworking partner gets just as much back as they put in, I know this is not reality but I can dream. I can't do much at our house building, I've painted and cleaned and stuff like that but with two littlies and other committments its pretty hard. But we have fallen into a pattern. He builds the house and is the bread winner and I run the home, do the accounts both personal and business, and am the main care giver to the children, meaning I do all the research on therapy for #1, research daycares etc for #2, speech therapy, reading all that. Once I've done all the leg work I let him know the appointments on which he needs to attend and give him the run down (summary) on the therapy that I think is best. Or what budget I've worked out and why I think it works.

If you want something from a partner I've heard its best to show them by example, I agree to this on some aspects but sometimes it just doesn't work, my uncle married a lazy women who is very selfish. My uncle worked himself to the bone while being constantly sick from her dogs and she gave nothing back, unfortunately he is now a very bitter mean man who no one wants to be around, instead of showing her a better way to live he was shown a worse way to be.

I'll never want to be like this, my husband is a man who works hard for his family and in return I want to work hard for the family too, I hope we both continue to be like this to each other.


  1. Hi there

    I'm sorry I don't know your name. I have commented a few times already but writing 'Hi The Changing of my Ways' seems like such a mouthful. Is there something else I can call you; 'Hi there' sounds a little rude.

    Anyway, the reason for my comment...

    I too read Rhonda's post and comments this morning. Like you, I have often thought how great a world it would be if everyone was as happy as me with their husband. He's not perfect, but hey, neither am I. The way I see it that makes him perfect for me.


  2. Kathy... But I'd accept 'you' 'hay' whatever, I'm pretty easy.

  3. Don't forget, Rhonda and Hanno are a lot older and have had a lot more time to adapt to each others rhythms and routines.

    It's nice reading things like this. After being single for 12 years I tend to forget that there are benefits to sharing your life with someone. I'm so used to doing and deciding things on my own. It's a good thing to be reminded that there are lovely guys out there who look after their wives. (It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy!)